Have you ever had an experience that ruined your day?
Replaying the event over & over....
Read on if this is you!
Last week I spoke at the AusMumPreneur Conference about my profuond healing journey through becoming a writer & I began to cry...in front of hundreds of women!!
Depends how you perceive this.
You see, as a generalisation most of us have been conditioned to believe that vulnerability is weakness so when we express ourselves, or when something we perceive as uncomfortable or confrontational occurs, we make it mean something about us, which then leads to a feeling such as weakness, failure, not enough, unworthy & so on.
So in this situation I drew upon this practical tool called 'the levels of truth' which goes like this:
Level 1: Imagined truth
There are 0 facts associated at this level & it is full of drama & story such as the above: 'I am weak, I can't believe I did that, I'm a failure, I should have it all together, vulnerability means I am weak, how embarrassing, they won't like me' etc.
At this level there are no facts, and an experience with stories like this could ruin your day based on one single event.
Level 2: Assumed truth
Assume that people think something about me. Full stop.
At this level there is no story or drama surrounding the event & it doesn't affect you. Emotionally calmer.
At this level I sometimes use this questioning tool: 'is it true that I am a failure, or weak because of this one moment?' And surprise, the response is always no.
Level 3: Actual truth
Based on purely facts.
The fact is I cried because I am human & my healing journey is important to me. No spin, no emotional reaction.
The framing here is "It is what it is. I had a human experience & I can work through difficult moments because I trust myself. What can I learn from this?"
Level 3 has a better view, it's more expansive & the more distance between the event & yourself allows us greater choice.
At this level we focus on what we can control vs what we cannot. And the only thing we can control is ourselves, our reactions & how we respond.
I have no control over what the women in that room thought of me, no way of knowing, nor do I need to know to make me continue believing I am whole, capable & worthy.
But want to know the best part????
Afterwards I had many women share with me that they cried in solidarity & appreciated the authenticity & vulnerability of the moment.
Everything is perception, and we all experience our own reality based on our our own experiences - no reality is the same.
And, after all the meaning of any communication is the response it receives.
Your Conscious Motherhood Mentor, Sarah x
Balancing hustle & heart & raising the mother as she raises her family
Benefiting from these tools? I have tonnes more to support making your motherhood journey smoother! Come join the Made to Mother Workshop sessions, one hour per month for $39 held online in a safe space of mumma's. Supporting you with life balancing tools to handle life more confidently & peacefully.