After an Emergency Caesarean
Six weeks new. Six weeks post emergency c-section, and what an interesting six weeks it has been.
They say it takes six weeks to heal.. heal your mind from the experience, or just the wound? Obviously, they mean the wound but there is much more that requires healing.
I can now look back & reflect. A few weeks ago I was not ready.
What I’ve been working through personally these past few weeks is ‘why did this happen to me’, but more importantly ‘what did I learn from this experience’?
For me it is part of the process to heal.
What I experienced was almost out of body; that came with a lot of shock, trauma & grief but I’m choosing to try & let all the negativity around this birth experience go. I feel saddened, however that there are so many people out there feeling like I have been, and some far worse off I imagine.
Emergency C-Section as a birth passage occurs daily, but why don’t we hear the traumatic stories around them & why was I so naive before my own? Are we too scared to ask someone about their experience, or are we too scared to hear what they have to say? I hope this is a push for us all to reach out when a mumma, or anyone else for that matter is going through something big in their life. They may not be ok, and they may be filtering the experience to protect themselves from what they have been through until they are ready to process the situation.
For me, personally, what I can take away from my own experience is that:
I realise that I created a story in my head about how my birth experience played out (mainly focusing on all negatives), however I am choosing to let that go & try to see the positives;
Pain is temporary;
After each birth experience I realise I am stronger than I realise;
No birth is ever the same (& that’s the beauty of it), what an experience;
I am never alone; there are so many people prepared to listen;
It was a phase & it too shall pass;
There is a positive for every negative, kind of like how a pendulum swings (used to refer to the tendency of a situation to oscillate between one extreme & another). There must be a balance throughout every situation.
I am healing, mentally & emotionally because people are reaching out & letting me talk through what I need to, a chance to release the experience & see it in a new light.
In saying all of this, we must be ready to let these experiences go, it’s a place no one else can help us get to until we decide that we are ready to help ourselves, and then we can begin to heal.
I am still a work in progress but with time I am seeing things more clearly.
I thank you, my dear husband, mumma friends, friends & family for being that ear for me over the past few weeks especially, for the meal deliveries, the flowers, the messages, offers to take the kids, but mostly for just being there & listening when it was so dearly needed. You are appreciated.
Written by Sarah Cremona.
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